like i'm beatin those cakes

today's the day..
well in less than an hour it will me.
got some bad news.
got some good news.
everything he say's bothers me.
oh drew don't read this part...
he can be rude and i'd still forgive him
he can tell me he'll never love me and it wouldn't stop me.
why? because i'm an idiot.
i don't think that guys understand..
even if you push us away [or try] that's not going to help
we're too optimistic..or we like the idea of you.
getting you is one thing
not having you and always wondering?...now that..that's a whole other ball game.
"it's not about whether you win or loose, it's how you play the game" or something along those lines.
honestly. guys should just date everyone..
because i'd get so bored i'd be over him in a day.
the whole not knowing, the whole wondering..that's what eats at the insides..
girls always like the worst of the wost.
sorry but it's probably true..nice guys finish last..but so do nice girls.
you have to not give a fuck to get a guy to notice you..and when you don't give a fuck you just don't give a fuck..the guy trying for your attention will never be graced with your presence because in your eyes he's already way too clingy and needy and needs far too much attention, PLUS he won't leave you alone..poor guy..
i wonder if this is what goes on in guys minds...
do they hate it when we shamelessly flirt? would they rather us ignore them, play them like they play us? are we players in the game?
"he's just not that into you"
man i need to see that movie.
srsly.
i don't think it'd help but yeah.
ugh.
and i want to see confessions.
my birthday is going to suck..probably.
well hopefully not.
there's going to be like three people i actually want to see there..one..not so much and one disappointment that keeps on disappointing.
i hate when people apologize..whether they mean it or not..i mean it's better than not saying anything but half the time i don't believe people when they say "sorry"
i'm so paranoid sometimes.
i thought hey maybe today is starting me off and it's going to be a great year..month..week at least. but no it couldn't even be a great day...i shouldn't dwell in the negative
i should think positive...wonder if that'll ever happen.
wonder if it'll continue to go unnoticed.
wonder if they even care.
wonder if it's really okay.
wonder what the good news was i wanted to share but i can't because i'm a pessimist and i should've gone to bed hours ago..okay like an hour and a half ago