it stays with me again

"i'll give you my time and patience, if that's what you want. but i don't think that it is. you're obviously channeling someone, something else and i am just sitting her patiently for something, someone that will never even notice"

i'd say that. but i won't.
once you tell people about someone..it looses its strength i think. like a secret..the more people you tell, the less you feel it as a secret. so now i guess i'm keeping something from most of the world that only two other people know...maybe three.

"you're son young. you have the rest of your life ahead of you. why are you so eager to settle down? how do you know if she's right for you if you jump at the first chance you can? how do you know if you let the right person go? why do you blow your chances? take them when you can or they might not be there next time."

again i'd say that. and i sort of have.

"not everyone gets what they want. learn to cope with it. i'm not going to take care of you. we'd just hurt eachother. it's easy for me to tell you not to be so upset over something of this nature but i talked to her...i guess it's common between you guys. being alone isn't that bad."

wow i could talk out of my ass. i wonder if i could convince myself of my own lies.

i keep looking at my phone eagerly.
i keep reading between the lines in the wrong ways.
i keep hoping.
i guess it's better to be optimistic...even if the optimisim is misplace because no body likes it when you're down in the dumps.


"you lost your chance..get over it. you blew it and its all your fault. it doesn't matter who it's about you probably treated them like shit. not everyone will wait."