Tuesday, January 27, 2009

the insequirites* caused by the last four years

*i'm pretty sure i spelled insecurities wrong
idk firefox isn't telling me the correct spelling and i'm far too lazy to check

what's keeping me up?
i already bought my cashcash ticket so i'm going with or without people.
i'm enrolled in my History class and i got the book in the mail today.
i have my yoga stuff
there isn't anything that should bug me but alas there is:
i've annoyed someone to the point of no return which had left me in a state of embarassment and regret. can't i keep my mouth shut? maybe he'll forget. i hope he's drunk right now...or something. or i hope he thinks i'm cool and not a creeper.even though i am...
i need to get on those sketches that are due friday.i fail at them though it's hard. i feel pressured and i've only been to one class!
my arthistory book hasn't arrived and i don't want to go to the library and look stuff up..but i'm not doing homework.
and i have papers to write for psychology and history and stuff ot read but alas those aren't getting touched either.
i'm at the point where i don't care who goes or doesn't go to san diego.
i'd love to have my friends there but i admit i'm weird. but then i'd be a bitch cause i'd be like we're not leaving til i fucking talk to them again. i'm such a freak when it comes to shows. i feel bad i made Drew wait forever and a half for Minus The Bear but that night was awesome.

My shoulder hurts i feel liek doing yoga but i'm tired. i just can't bring myself to sleep.
my mom has a doctor's appointment. i don't know what they're going to tell her..i hope it's not bad news. but it's way to personal for this blog so don't even ask. it's not my right to tell anyways.

today drew told me that if i told him a secret and i told him not to tell, he wouldnt...i kind of hate that it implies if i tell him something and don't tell him not to tell..he has permission to tell. but of course he's not the only one. a large majority of my friends have like lost my trust. i mean sure i'll tell them things...but i don't know i guess i figure theres somethings people don't need to hear about because it doesn't concern them. whatever..i'm not too upset about that
but my shoulder IS killing me.

why is it that i depend so much on someone that lives across the country from me? she knows everything..well okay not EVERYTHING but most things going on that i refuse to tell people closest to me...i guess it comforts me that if she even tells someoen they don't know me so if they judge me i wouldn't even know. but it's not like i'm a hot topic..unless i say something funny and someone is in her room with her.

all i listen to is TITTF now. i wanna know every song by heart..which shouldn't be too difficult to do.

i have to use the banos. but i wont cause i'll forget and then change and crawl into bed and forget then wonder why i have to pee so badly in the morning.

work tomorrow. how boring.
my coworker invited to me to go to punchline with them someitme to see some comedian i've never heard of from show i've never heard of but apparently is funny as fuck. so w/e idk maybe.
i have no money and yet i spend and spend.

i want to go to the mall with my mom and make her buy me clothes
cause i doubt my dad would. ugh

drew referred this guy to me. or me to this guy idk u figure it out

1 comment:

  1. like obviously i wouldn't tell people if it seemed like somthing personal but sometimes people don't want other people to know stuff and i kinda blurt it out because i assume they already know... yadidy?